Thursday, July 5, 2012

The Lies Teens Tell Their Parents

Like millions of other parents around the world, I have raised teens, and I know I have been lied to.  In fact, I would be very foolish to think that I could possibly raise children to adulthood without having them lie to me from time to time.  Fortunately, none of their lies turned out to be dangerous or life threatening, and they all seem to have grown up to be open and honest adults (at least as far as I can tell).  Accepting that teens lie to their parents is just being realistic.

If you want to find out the common lies that teens are telling, sign up for a Twitter account.  If you are unfamiliar with Twitter, you are able to pull up Tweets about a certain subject by putting a hashtag (#) in front of a word.  For example, if you wanted to read all the Tweets about candy, you would just put #candy in your Tweet, and you could get a list of recent Tweets about candy.  However, if you want to hear about teen lies, the hashtag parents really want to use is this one: #LiesIveToldMyParents.  That's right ... it says Lies I've Told My Parents.  Teens are using this hashtag and phrase in Tweets about actual lies they have told.  Wow!  They are just making it so easy for us to learn more about them than we really want to!

According to a 2008 New York Times article that is quoted by the Huffington Post in their July 5, 2012 article, "Teens Lying To Parents: Kids Share Common Lies On Twitter," there are several topics that teens are most likely to lie about.  Here's a quick list:

What they spent their allowance on
Whether they have started dating
What clothes they put on after they leave the house
What movie they went to, and who they were with
Alcohol and drug use
Hanging out with friends their parents don't like
What they do after school when their parents are still at work
Whether or not a party was chaperoned
Whether they have ever ridden in a car with a drunk driver

I work at a high school, and I can vouch for the fact that kids show up at our school every day dressed in clothes that would horrify their parents.  I've seen girls pop into a school restroom, and come out dressed in a totally different and much more risque outfit!  However, my 81 year old mother has told me that in the 1940's her own mother would not allow her to wear blue jeans.  Despite that strict rule, my mother bought the tightest boys' jeans she could squeeze into, and then put them on the minute she was away from the house.  Sometimes she would even wear the jeans with the legs rolled up under her mid-calf length full skirt.  Then, she just pulled the skirt off the second she was out of site of her mother. Things haven't changed much in 70 years!

I also hear the high school kids talk a lot about drug and alcohol use, and I am sure their parents don't know what they are doing.  I am also certain that this has been going on for many years, too.

Recently, an anti-drug group has been running an ad on television here in California.  In the ad, a teenager who is obviously using drugs makes the statement, "My mom is addicted to denial."  I think a lot of us parents are addicted to denial.  In fact, perhaps that is the only way we can survive the teen years!  However, doesn't that mean we are just living with a lie?

Many lies you can continue to overlook.  As parents, we all know that we have to pick our battles carefully.  Is it really the end of the world if your kids spend their allowance on junk food or some wasteful trinket?  However, even if you choose to overlook many of the lies you hear, you should still be aware that your teens are lying.  Maybe a young teen is just embarrassed to tell you they have a boyfriend or girlfriend; maybe they are afraid of disappointing you; perhaps they are trying to prove that they are independent and grown-up.  Whatever the reason for the lies, watch for trends.  If they lie constantly about their friends and where they are spending their time, it could be a sign of a more serious problem.  You can't live in denial forever ... even if all of us would like to!

You are reading from the blog http://lies-and-liars.blogspot.com/

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